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rinbu_san
Sep. 19th, 2009
10:47 pm - High holy day
Happy talk like a pirate day...may the Flying Spaghetti monster touch you with His noodly appendage.
Feb. 28th, 2009
06:31 pm - on second thought...
What I would not give to go back to this time, though I was upset at that moment Little do we know...
http://rinbu-san.livejournal.com/2006/0
It's Saturday night, 3 years and change later. I would have shampooed the damn carpet every day for a lifetime if I could have had that stupid argument again right now.
It's only been two weeks since he died, it feels like minutes sometimes...it feels like years other times.
I knew him 6 years, but I can't remember a day of those last 6 that I haven't thought about how much that friendship and business partnership has done for me, despite frequent frustration.
My heart hurts.
Feb. 17th, 2009
03:16 am - If you were lucky enough to know him, you were lucky enough.
Frank the drunk...
I heard about you before we met, Rick told me you had said "Ricks don't last long around here." when you met. Somehow you both became friends, and you decided to come out to the karaoke gigs we were running at the time. Always hammered, always smiling, I was slightly afraid when Rick asked if you could come to our wedding.
"Will he be sober? Will he make a scene?"
You began playing golf together that summer, and you two were fast friends. Weeks before the wedding, you gave me a job when the karaoke gig stopped paying. I got five minutes of training and a promise of "I'll come back later." Late that day, I finished my first job and hadn't seen you.
Frank the electrician...
When you got a DUI that fall, I had already earned your trust, when I picked up the truck you 'ran the cop off the road' with and drove you around until the next spring. According to you, no mailbox or pedestrian was safe. The day I threatened to quit, you backed down and apologized.
As the year wore on, and I went on vacation to St. Kitts, and came back to be your right hand man. I was needed, trusted, and given a lot of responsibility as your Field Coordinator as the business grew.
When Rick lost his job, you gave him one without hesitation. When this caused a rift in the marriage with all the other problems, you were there to listen.
Frank my friend...
When Rick was arrested, you stood by me, held me up, helped me through. I look back and still don't know how I was able to make it both mentally and financially. You slept on my couch that first week as I had nightmares. You stayed in my home and gave up yours when you knew I could not be alone.
You stayed here until you knew it was time to go, and loved me as much as I let you. When you moved into your new home, we shopped together for the things that made this home your own.
Frank...
The business dropped off, construction went down, and nobody was left but you and I. We worked together those long, difficult times as a team.
When I felt the need to leave to start a new job, you let me go, and you also let me come home when I realized just how hard it would be.
When I was the last to go, you offered to help as much as you were able, though at the time it was I helping you. I worked two jobs before I was able to come back permanently, but by then you were just happy to have someone to share the load.
I realized this winter you were not well, I was going to tell you to come back here, back home where you could be around people and not be so lonely, but it was too late. The day I wanted to speak to you, we found out about the cancer...
You wanted to fight, but there was never before an enemy that gave you a challenge such as this. In three short weeks, you were taken from this earth by that awful disease, leaving us all in shock. I held your hand as you passed from this world into the next, and you were surrounded by those who loved you so much.
The man who had the heart of gold, who would give the shirt off his back, my best friend. I love you and will miss you until I see you again.
Feb. 5th, 2009
06:02 pm - I'm not making this up...
Last night, I was called a possible plant...or a troll or something...because my real everyday life is pretty impossible to believe.
I thought about it for hours, remembering the things I have done, things I have been through, and so-on. I seriously don't think I could believe me if I hadn't lived it.
Since I turned 18, this stuff has all happened:
-Been married and divorced from a man who admitted he was gay (or bi) and divorced the same year. Should have known something was up when he agreed to elope on superbowl Sunday.
-Been a security guard, that lasted 2 years, then I was unemployed for a year post September 11th.
-Become a karaoke jockey for a while, about 6 months I think.
-Got engaged a second time, married a second time, divorced a second time. This one was a hidden disaster...if you haven't read the archives, he's serving 20 years in prison.
-Got a job as an electrician...this is what I am still doing today, though in an increased capacity. Drove the boss around when he got a DUI, probably how I learned most of the things I do now.
-Went through the Rick fiasco, was disowned by my family for a while, went tens of thousands into debt because of lies.
-Got to be a stepmom for a while. Katie was a nice girl, last time I saw her, she was knocking on my door giving out pamphlets for the Jehovah's Witnesses.
-Started another relationship which did not work out, this time no marriage.
-Went to work in New York for a while to try a job there. Came back to be an electrician.
-Worked as a salesperson for a supply company, a different electrical company, and then came back to Kelsall Electric.
-Went a few times to visit my grandmother in Massachusetts as a single grown woman. Started a family feud with my uncle while I was there.
-Had a few minor surgeries, mole removals, cyst removals, cryosurgery, and lasik eye surgery.
-Adopted 4 cats, 2 dogs. One dog went to a new owner. 2 cats were given to me, 1 is not mine but has adopted me, and the other Allen and I found at a resturaunt.
-Repaired the house as often as things broke, the tub, the pluimbing, the wall...still tons of hours left and probably thousands in work to do.
-Got engaged on Christmas eve, no wedding date set yet.
-My family moved down here a little at a time, first my aunt, uncle, and cousins, then an aunt who moved north after a while, another uncle, and Grammy who is a snowbird at this point.
-Construction went to hell nationwide...it made finances dismal, and they are not looking much better this year.
-Circuit City announced it is closing, so Allen will be out a job in March. Mom lost her job in December, Magus in January, Phil in December, and I know I am forgetting a few.
-Frank had some kind of fit on a job, so we took him to the hospital...we thought it was a stroke, turns out it was lung cancer with brain tumors, too. I don't quite understand all the treatment, but Radiation, Chemo both pills and IV treatments...and all sorts of tests I didn't know existed.
There's more, but I am forgetting....
Nov. 15th, 2008
08:26 pm - Hunting again...
So I am looking for another job again, considering I am part time at the current one, it's not going to take long for the bills to pile up. As it is, Christmas is going to suck. With less money, it gets worse. I also am not getting a bonus again this year...and probably never will again.
Good wishes will have to do for everyone this time unless I hit the lotto.
Aug. 28th, 2008
08:50 am - Just wondering...
If I am very good at this electricianing thing. I am really not all that interested in anything I do anymore.
Thankfully, I am back in school, so maybe I will finally find out if there is something I want to do with my life by the time I chave to chose a major.
Times failed the Journeyman's: 5/5
Aug. 3rd, 2008
06:46 am - Garage sale of DOOM
Going to be hosting a yard sale next weekend, tons of crafty stuff, some furniture, clothing, books, a (non-adjustable) dressform, fabric, patterns,tools, etc etc.
Listing some of the things I think my cosplaying counterparts may have an interest in:
Mini glue guns- high and low temp
Wig caps- yellow, red, white, blue
Casting resin, catalyst, hardener
Rotary cutter and 2' x 4' mat
Roll of brass sheeting
Hooks and eyes, black and silver
Snaps, black and silver
Pants closures (slide style)
Yard stick
Bobby pins- black, blonde, brown
Earring backs
Side combs
Misc. clips for wigs and hair
Misc. combs
Curling iron 2"
Heat sealer/braid sealer
Tabletop wig stands
Styrofoam heads
Tons of buttons
Patterns-
Simplicity- 4052, 3966, 4048, 7808, 3812, 8283, 4055, 7514, 4731, 3784, 5726, 5724, 8328, 7971, 3906, 4793, 5726, 4900, 4080, 7212, 9764, 7215, 9433
New Look- 6179, 6488
Vogue- 2802
Butterick- 6203, 4761,4540, 6202, 6074, 5198, 3859, 4681
McCall's- 4548, 3508, 3954, 4492, 4863, 4491, 5046, 4300, 4958
Fabric-
1/2 yd gold spandex
5 yds light tan stretch fabric
4 yds black crepe
10 yds gray (light) poly-spandex material like my Mars is made of
10 yds red organza
6 yds dark gray poly-spandex
6 yds blue poly-spandex
2 yds yellow poly-spandex
2yds heavy white satin
Kimono-
Purple komon with floral baskets
Navy Yukata with geometric pattern
Yellow silk komon with butterflies
Blue yukata with flowers
Black crested Tomesode
Pink floral haori
White silk komon with floral pattern
Purple nagoya obi
Lots more stuff, too!
Email me at jvincent2@cfl.rr.com if you are interested in anything, and I can provide more info/photos if needed.
Jul. 30th, 2008
10:55 pm - Past tense...
My past is a lot of what made me who I am today...and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
But it can't be denied that this is what has made me. So I will look into those parts of my past, the physical and mental reminders sometimes.
Don't act like I am a fool for wanting to share. For wanting to let my friends know where I have been, what I have seen if it is worth sharing. What I have learned if it is worth teaching so that you might not have to endure the pain of experience.
The photographs and memories of me.
Jul. 17th, 2008
06:40 am - Things for sale, pass it on!
Red microsuede jacket:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v
Aeris costume:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v
Rabi en Rose wig:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v
Blue dress:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v
More to come later.
Apr. 19th, 2008
09:24 pm - Off to a start of some kind...
Three weeks and one paycheck into my new job, I think I am doing all right. My first week, I got two new accounts, the second week I got one more. I was also given a few to maintain by my manager, Joe.
The guys are not bad at all to work with, Danny is pretty decent even tho he has been sick with the plague all week. Lance is nice, though a bit young acting. The other guy got fired as soon as he came back from his vacation because he was talking about all the illegal stuff he had done with his time.
Joe is nice enough, though I think he is overstressed or something, the guys say he is ususally a lot more relaxed than he has been over the past few weeks, though that could be home issues popping up.
Most of my day is spent driving around visiting either new prospects or existing account holders. I have re-established relationships with a few places that were not using us over the last several months due to a lack of customer service.
The benefit being that if I need to take a break for lunch, I can take it. The downfall being that my car is racking up enough miles to use a full tank of gas every couple days. I have been trying to plan out better routes, but due to the nature of buisness, I end up having to loop around quite often.
I am also learning some things about the shop itself, such as ordering for customers, how to run quotes, pricing standards, the warehouse, different materials, the computer system of DOOM, and endless meetings.
So far, so good. Working part time for Frank, but not much is going on with that at the moment.
Been weeding out my closet and getting rid of other crap that is cluttering up the house as well. There is way too much stuff around here. Goodwill is benefiting from my fervor, I am sure.
Rinbu out.
Mar. 29th, 2008
09:32 pm - The good news and the bad news...
Okay, so I got a new job. Starting Monday morning.
I also flunked my test....really flunked with a lovely 57%.
The car needed brakes, an oil change, and an allignment. Six hours later, the car still had not gotten the allignment and the work was up to 380.00....new rotors.
I went to Daytona to do some things...and on the way home stopped at the store...the car would not start. The battery was dead...another 80.00
But I found something interesting in the yard today...
The top one is a six leaf clover, the center one is a five leaf clover, and the bottom is one of the *three* four leaf clovers I found.
Mar. 11th, 2008
08:37 pm - Rough hands...
I tried to pick up a needle today to try to repair something, but my hands are so rough from working that they tore at the fabric.
I take my Journeyman's test this Saturday, but I can't bring myself to really care.
I filed unemployment yesterday because things are so bad at work, I haven't been able to make a full week...and probably won't for a while.
Last week I had to spend any money I would have on Megacon on medical bills, apparently getting a second opinion was worth its' weight in gold, though, because my new doctor told me I don't have to wait until I develop cervical cancer to be treated. It was taken care of during that visit.
Got a new roommate, hope things will work out all right.
Feeling like I am taking a beating continuously from every angle.
Still looking for a job, but no takers as of yet.
Feb. 21st, 2008
12:01 am - How can people like this still get away with it?
Granted, people who abandon and maltreat their pets are not up on the level 9 felony list, but boy am I pissed at them as a whole right now.
My tolerance of people who abandon their pets has never been high...there are no acceptable reasons I can see to abandon a pet. If anyone can provide me an example of when this is an acceptable practice, I will give you a star sticker.
Tonight, Thief and I went out to a resturaunt riverside to have dinner before we went out to karaoke. During the meal we had (on the outdoor patio,) a small striped cat approached us. Friendly cat, obviously domesticated at some point...he was begging as much as a cat can for table scraps.
I have never seen an animal that didn't have to fight for every scrap of its' food eating before. This cat had obviously been through this. He seemed friendly, though, so I picked him up to see if he was a decent lap-cat. He promptly started eyeing my cheeseburger, (or what was left of it,) so it was given to him.
During the devouring of said cheeseburger, we discussed taking kitty home...asked the staff if this was a local cat, a stray, or something else. They confirmed that kitty had essentially been living at the resturaunt and needed a home, badly. Some of the regulars confirmed this, too.
Just in case, we left one of my cards if he belongs to someone...but after he came home and was gotten into the light, I began to notice things...like that the flea collar was far too small...kitten sized almost, and this is a nearly grown cat...some scars, and scratches...but he rolled over and showed me the real horror.
This poor cat has a scar running up the side of his flank, nearly the length of his body. There are no stitches, sutures, or marks. The fur looks like it was seared off, probably to never return, there is no stubble anywhere in this 1" by 8" scar, and by the look of the healing, it was never treated except for what poor care he could give himself.
All I can guess was that someone abandoned this cat for dead when they saw the scar. He had no tags, no known name, and had been at that resturaunt a long time. He is the thinnest cat I have seen of that age, and this includes strays and feral cats I have seen.
If he even had an owner anymore, I doubt they would be a person that anyone should give a cat to. Who abandons a domesticated cat to the elements like this? It's a wonder this little guy survived this long.
So, what would you do?
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v
Feb. 18th, 2008
08:51 pm - Getting tired of this....
Okay, so I failed attempt #2 at the Journeyman's test...great. Found out last week I had missed by one question. I was carrying my code book around for a couple of days after the test to keep some of the questions fresh in my mind...and apparently without me realizing it until last week about midweek, someone was nice enough to steal it.
A 90.00 book with highlighting and tabs that I had painstakingly taken the care to put in, the sections I noted actual test questions had been on, everything. I did everything short of flip the house over and shake it before I believed this...even Frank's house, the shop, and all the vehicles I had been in were torn apart. No book.
This directly after learning that I had to pay another county fee for the retake, as well another 70.00 to take the test...so another 180.00+/- a possible need for a hotel room, because I have to take the test out in either Winter Haven or Tampa.
I feel like screaming a lot of obscenities. I'm in a foul mood, and work lately only seems to make it so much worse. I'm working for the same pay rate I was nearly 2 years ago. I know people at McDonald's get raises more often than that!
I'm so tired of this shit I could burst into flame...but I can't do a damn thing without that card in my hand!
I am seriously considering changing careers entirely, this one is plain making me hate the trade.
Feb. 6th, 2008
09:46 pm - Breaking point...
One day after a job interview,
Four from having a shocking visitor,
Five days out from taking the test,
Seven from finishing classes in Orlando twice a week...
I'm tired. The sort of tired I can't describe well, but I think means purely worn out...and now work picks up again tomorrow, so I will probably be stuck working all fucking weekend again.
I need a new job desperately, one that does not cater to every stupid whim of a thoughtless corporation, preferrably one that can afford to at least give me a living wage.
Not that I had less stress at GSI, but damn I wish I could have kept the money rolling in from that one...two weeks pay was double my monthly take home here.
Sleep now, though...
Oh, and this comic is made of win:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/apelad/224
Read them all if you can!
Jan. 21st, 2008
04:26 pm - What the hell happened to me...?
It's been a long time since I truly looked at myself, but last night I got a question I had no idea how to answer.
"Jen, do you have any friends? Any people you talk to, besides Magus?"
It's been a long time since I have, aside from the occasional phone contact, I see a very few poeple.
But I took a good long look, and thought things out hard...and cried, of course. Now my question is: was this a product of what happened to me and did I drive people away, or did the situation?
I don't think I asked a whole lot when I moved, just that people keep in touch, which was rare at best. Some of my friendships were on the way out as they were, anyhow. Life happens. The nail in the coffin was probably the whole Rick saga...if I had known...yes, I would have done a lot differently. I probably alienated a lot of people for my initial belief in his innocence.
That dosen't change that I desperately needed my friends for support right then, but rarely got it. I was alienated by my own family, hell my boss was the only person I saw for months...so I turned to work. I have the hours in that show how hell bent I was on work being my primary focus, 70 hours a week was not an uncommon occurrance.
Here, I digress, so you can skip this if need be.
I started to change then, I think. As a second year apprentice, I was determined to know my job, my trade, everything. I pushed for knowledge but didn't pursue it boldly enough. Yes, all this is much my own fault. Some blame lies on my company for thinking that minimal training and no prep were a sufficient course of action. After my failure on the test, I had very little hope left, and took the job with GSI out of a combination of despiration and financial need.
It was the lowest I have ever felt. I spent most nights in that damned hotel room crying, not knowing if I could get out of there to come back home. Thankfully, I was able to because of a very generous offer from my father, but this will only be a temporary fix. But I shone out in that crowd of men both older and younger than I...I have been asked to come back, but I can't imagine how in that kind of capacity.
*End tangent*
Somewhere along the line, I did alienate some friendships, some others were too weak to have withstood the whirlwind around me.
But I tried. I asked for patience and understanding. If I couldn't have that, I would even settle for ignoring the matter at hand. I fought the one person who supported me most every step of the way.
But what happened to me?
I lost all taste for what I loved and became a workoholic.
I lost all my interests, my hobbies, myself.
I gave up what made me uniquely "Rinbu" or whomever you knew me as.
I am trying to come back to life, because I refuse to be my worst nightmare. I refuse to embody the things I hated most about the people I had the most conflict with in life. I refuse to be the person who put me into this...living death.
Some of you have been there. Some of you have not. If I mean anything to any one of you reading this...send me a message...because I don't know what I have left anymore, and I need to know where to begin.
Dec. 23rd, 2007
08:20 pm - Everything falls...
...in place?
...apart?
Things seemed to be looking up over the past couple weeks, work-wise it seemed like things were going to pick up some, finally, and if not, I had a job interview with the city.
But we may have lost the new subdivision to a bunch of bullshit and corporate ideas, despite the good record of the company, despite that we are the only local electrician to have picked up all the other moron's slack, despite that between an old man and a girl we can wire a house better and faster than three men.
I have to hold up hope for the city job until then, starting my journeyman's class on the 8th of January and going to set up a test date for the first weekend of February if things look good.
Worried about bills, the holidays, trying to make things work out with far less income coming in than ever before...
Any good advice?
Oct. 22nd, 2007
11:07 pm - Jenni came home...
...because the job was not too hard, but being away from home, friends, family, and my pets was.
Other options pending, back with Frank until then.
Oct. 11th, 2007
10:04 pm - I have arrived...
So here I am, once again in the frozen north. Yes, it started raining that day I landed. In fact it's still raining now, nothing too bad and we did have some clear skies during the day.
The first day was all human resources stuff, policies, procedures, benefits, conference calls and the like. Today, we get to do the CPR and first aid course which was helpful.
I'm not sure what to expect on Friday, but I am going to drive over to see Grammy this weekend. I think I'll bring back some sandwiches from Harrison's. They'll make good lunches.
As you can see, I do have Internet access while I am up here, so I will be able to keep in touch. I also have my cell phone.
Tonight, though I need to get to bed early. Falling asleep standing up kind of worried me.
Oct. 5th, 2007
12:07 pm - Here we go…
Finally I have all the flight details. I'm flying out Tuesday 1:20 PM and landing at Albany at 4:00. There is a rental car setup for me. I'll be staying at a hotel in Albany, I believe the Extended stay. From the research I've done, it looks like there's plenty within driving distance. Even if I am living out of a suitcase, I will at least be able to eat decent food.
Spooky got all his shots today. Auron will be going with Kelly on the road. Ozma will be staying here with Bootsie, Spooky, and Thief kitty. Poor Allen might wind up the crazy cat person if he doesn't find another roommate.
I think in the meantime, though my father has lost his mind. He called me up last night and asked if I thought it would be a little strange if he applied to the same company. I don't really object to the whole idea, but I sure hope if he gets the job that it doesn't get weird if we work on the same crew. Somehow I can't picture my father, a welder, climbing up wind turbines… But maybe GSI has some use for his skill.
Can anyone think of what I might need besides warm clothing? I think I have planned as best I could in any event. Heaven knows my suitcase is big enough, Allen was crazy enough to get in it… and Magus zipped it up and dragged him across the house on his face.
Somehow I get the feeling that when I'm up there, I will realize everything that I have forgotten 1200 miles away. I doubt it will be inexpensive to obtain whatever it is. I guess it's a small world though, Valerie is moving up to New York on the 17th. Her new husband's parents live in Albany.
You know I wonder, GSI said that I was supposed to share a rental car with someone, but I think I'm the only woman attending this training course so I may get one of my own. It will be a lot more convenient that way if I want to go to North Andover for the weekend. My only real concern at this point is how the heck am I gonna get my paycheck cashed? The closest bank is something like 100 mile drive in the complete wrong direction. Hopefully my direct deposit will take effect before that becomes necessity.
I am also not sure what I did to myself, but I feel like I slept on a bag full of rocks. It seems like every muscle and joint are bruised.
I think am going to try and rest some over this weekend because I don't know how hard this training course is going to be. The first several weeks are dominantly book learning but the next two are going to be pretty intense.
To all you ladies out there, unless you wanna whole ton of junk mail, don't sign up with Victoria's Secret or order anything from them. I have received more spam from them in a week than some companies send in several months… too bad it's nothing that I want.
"Hey there, Delilah don't you worry about the distance I'm right here if you get lonely, give this song another listen, close your eyes. Listen to my voice, it's my disguise, I'm your side."
Either way, I will keep everybody posted how things go.
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